If you have a child with oppositional defiance disorder you know it. Life is one battle after another, from the moment they’re supposed to get up until the time they go to bed. They argue with you about everything, and don’t take your word for anything. So what do you do to regain the peace in your house, and help a child like that cope with life? Because that’s the problem – they don’t have coping skills.
One thing to do is to build their self-esteem by having them do things that are hard for them, then complimenting them on that accomplishment. For instance, this morning I had my ODD teenager help me fold up a big swimming pool and put it away. This was not an easy task, but with his help we accomplished it and I complimented him in a grownup way. You could tell that he felt good about himself. Much better than complimenting him for putting his dishes in the dishwasher – this is something he should be doing anyway, and complimenting him on this is counter-productive.